Mr. Coffee, I believe you are dead
Mr. Coffee, I see your light is still red
But there's no coffee coming out
And there's no noise at all
You've been shaken, stirred and given a clout
And thrown against the wall

Mr. Coffee, please don't leave me like this
Mr. Coffee, needing your caffeine kiss
I can't deal with this without coffee
My first cup of the day
I need to have you here with me
But now you've gone away

(Solo)

Mr. Coffee, well isn't this just great
Mr. Coffee, I'm afraid that you're late
And I'm too far gone for a funeral
I'm needing the bean
So I'll just throw your corpse out the window
And Starbucks my green

My affections ran so deep
Thank Goddess they're cheap
Thank Goddess
Thank Goddess they're cheap